Reflections on my life thus far

I can't imagine being 15. It would be awful. Its nice to grow up. But it means there are more opportunities to make mistakes, and embarass yourself and stuff up.There are less limits. And it is finding that fine balance of what boundaries are right for you, and there will be errors along that path. Today I wrote as my status this:We make mistakes, we fail sometimes. We get frustrated and angry and restless with nowhere to go. But LIVE. Forgive. Dance in the streets, watch beautiful films, sing along to gangsta rap music. Grades won't make or break you. God is with you. He loves you. The friendships worth fighting for will last through trials. Dance in the streets :) It is so true. SJC may have a story, but Jesus loves her still. The other day I told some of my story to my friends and they were like Wow. But I was glad I told them, because it was like a testimony. And they could see how far I've come in life. "After the flood, you." Thank you Jesus :) I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. But I feel I ought to be, sometimes. Man. Academically, this year has been so good! Which is unusual, because I made a decision at the start of the year to not freak about school, or worry about doing well, but to enjoy myself. And I've done better than all the other years! Maybe it's because I only have four subjects. 34 E credits, 3 M credits, and a couple of unit standards. No Achieveds. WOW. I wonder where God will take my writing. I gave him my pen. And it can be hard to surrender us to God, but I know that writing is a talent He's given me, and how AWESOME that he could use me. I wonder how? So far writing has just got me accolades. For me. Like money. Not much money, but a nice amount. But I want God to use whats IN my writing too. I'm so stuck about this summer. Go to Motueka where job situation may be uncertain?Or apply at Splash Planet? But that's like a contract type thing and I don't want to be too tied down. I WANt to go to Motueka. So I will. I WANT to go to Wellington one last time before a year of Auckland. I WANT to see Anna. But thats Australia. I WANT to stay in contact with Shani! I don;t want her to never come back to HB after school is over. I want to be able to stop writing love poetry. Last year I couldn't write one word about love. Now it's all I can. It's alright stuff though. And its not emo or angry, just reflective. And I'VE LEARNT. I'm ME. I'm EIGHTEEN. I have LEARNT SO MUCH in the LAST THREE YEARS. I LIKE IT THAT WAY. I feel so old. I'm getting lines around my eyes, you know. "For the life of me, I cannot remember..what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.. we were only freshmen.." All a person truly owns is his story. And with all the pretty bits and ugly bits in mine, it is still mine :) I would be lost without God.