Today

Today I realised just how much I want - need - to travel. Today I realised just how much I really love meeting new people that love to read and think! Today was a day of mixed emotion. Today I realised that I have so many things I want to experience and hopes and dreams to ACHIEVE and I worry that one life is just too short. Today I realised how hard it is going to be to overcome the expectations and limits that conform my extended family, and the mindset among my immediate family. I want to live a life depending totally on my Creator, trusting completely that He will provide. I want to live a life full of travel, one where I am constantly being challenged and made more open-minded by the real-life experiences and the people I meet. I want to write poetry the very very best I can possibly make it. I want to have a life that COUNTS. Not in fame or wealth or anything, because they fade away, but I want to always remember that "His Glory goes beyond ALL FAME." I want it to count in the way I interact with people, loving unconditionally even when it is hard and difficult. I want to learn to love in the fullest way I can. Jesus hung out with everyone. Prostitutes, tax collecters, lepers.. the ones NO ONE LOVED. I want to be Jesus to my world. I hate the look on my mum's face when I suggest I may just travel the world, or not marry or have kids, because I'm not all about planning. I might not even go to university! But if I do go to university, I want to make sure my motives are right, that I will take the time to truly learn because I love to learn, not go because it is suggested I need it for some normal career. And if I do go to university, I will make sure I do not rush through in stress, trying to get it quick, but take time to read, love, debate, think, discuss, analyse, challenge and bounce ideas off other like-minded or different-minded people. Maybe I will do one paper a semester for the rest of my life. Why not? I want to live simply. I want to be happy that what I have is more than enough, and I am thankful that I have been brought up by parents on government benefits, because even though it can be hard, and sometimes I have felt ashamed, I know they have taught me that money is not important, that God will always provide, and how to manage my money wisely. I want to always remember the sky is the limit. To always remember I am not bound by my past, or the fact my mum and dad couldn't pass fifth form. I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me! God has given me a brain, and I love to use it! I want to use my writing for HIM, to highlight injustice and the stories of people. I pray I will always remember these things.