I HATE THIS ESSAY

JUST END. PLEASE.

just got a phone call

I have been nominated for the New Zealand Young Woman of Potential Award. Crazy. Today I acquired sixty dollars, after praying desperately to God the other night for finance. I am learning to radically depend on this God who knows everything I need.

Beauty on Muriwai Beach

Spot the Sonya. My flatmate and I randomly decided to go to Muriwai Beach tonight, to take pictures of the sunset. We missed it, but it was beautiful anyway. I love how all the colours merged into one. It was so dark and everything was a different shade of grey. Dark dark dark. Nothing clear, just shapes, forms, colours. The water - black and foamy. Black sand. Cold. It is on the beach I feel near to God.

......

I was so sure I was over you. But you're still the only thing I can write about.

Peace

I am.. becoming aware of the need for silence the need to be silent more than to speak to detach the issue from the personal to live more at peace by saying less and being still when all is intense, to find INNER peace and to not jump to say my own opinion I think I am growing up If these are the only things I will learn this year (they won't, I'm sure there will be more) I would still be more than happy with what I got out of my $4500 fees.

This is me :)

I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow It's love's illusions I recall I really don't know love at all - Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now But that's good! And okay!

Jesus would have been a hippie

I was sitting in the mall on Saturday, and I couldn't buy anything. Jesus has been challenging me. Here is a fantastic article on freeganism and dumpster diving.

Alone Down There - Modest Mouse

How do, how do you do? My name is you Flies, they all gather around me and you too You can't see anything well You ask me what size it is, not what I sell The flies, they all gather around me and you too I don't want you to be alone down there To be alone down there, to be alone The Devil's apprentice he gave me some credit He fed me a line and I'll probably regret it I don't want you to be alone down there To be alone down there, to be alone Ah. I don't want you to be alone down there To be alone down there, to be alone

I love Smashproof.

South Auckland honest hiphop How do you put the actual video in the blog? Ordinary Life Brother Heart.

Dear, (middle aged) Man

Please explain, with detailed examples and analysis, what gives you the right as you sit in your car at the Onehunga Mall roundabout, to turn, smile and look me in the eyes and say "Nice butt," with a smirk on your lips and an unmentioned power in your eyes? I am still waiting for an answer. Plus, I was wearing trackpants.

Auckland #5 Dailybooth & COOKING

I dailybooth most days. Its like a mini blog with a "try to be creative" webcam shot. Comment below if you have a dailybooth, I'd love to follow you! I'M LOVING COOKING MEAN VEGETARIAN DINNERS.

Auckland # 4

Auckland #3: Make new friends but keep the old, for one is silver, the other gold

I haven't really thought much about people I have left. But today I came home from Carey, just so so tired. And when you're tired, you question. I lay on my bed and held my snowglobe. My snowglobe with pictures of Gerard and Lucy dressed up as reindeers holding silly signs. And I just thought Man. How good it would be to have Gerard to talk to right now. You know. Like when I am forming these new amazing friendships with people, I just think, aaah an old friend who understands and knows me really well, how nice would that be right now. And to hear Gerard's Subway stories, or his views on political issues or current affairs, or just to talk about anything, whether trivial or deep. I enjoy his company, no matter what the occasion. It is a friendship that been consistent. At school especially, he was the one person I could count on to talk intellectual/deep, when I needed or wanted that. And I know he liked that about our friendship as well. I love and treasure the new friendships I am making in Auckland, in Intermission and the like, but tonight my old friend Gerard was on my mind. I'm not going to forget him. Don't forget your friends. NOTE: It would only let me put the photos at the top. Any help with this? It hasn't done that before.

Auckland #2: Onehunga!

Today I ventured to my local shops/town centre: Onehunga, or 'The Hunga" as Mick Duncan, my amazing lecturer, calls it. I really like Onehunga. That's pronounced Oh-knee-hung-ah for my non-New Zealand readers. I don't think it's a Maori word so I think that pronunciation is right. It has the biggest outlet shopping mall in New Zealand, Dressmart, which is about 100 stores of awesome stuff at mega cheap prices. And it feels like a normal mall too, not shabby at all. I got Grab jeans the other day from 190 dollars down to 20 dollars! But apart from good shopping, Onehunga has heart. Isn't that beautiful? Just on the main street. I went into an antiques/second hand furniture store as I have very little furniture (cardboard box as bedside table etc) and the man there was so helpful! Told me a lot about Onehunga, and pointed out the best second hand book store, the library, and lessons on not walking at night :) I joined the library and the video store. The nice man at Westpac refunded all the fees they had charged me. My heart broke when I walked past the council apartments and the toothless lady on her porch smiled at me when I smiled at her. She was lonely. Edit: Onehunga is a Maori word indeed! Well according to wikipedia. Hmmm. Then the pronunciation should be Aw-neh-hoo-ngah or something.. I feel bad now. Maori words should be pronounced correctly. "The name Onehunga is Māori and probably means 'burial place', referring to the Māori burial caves in the area, probably among the lava flows issuing from One Tree Hill (Maungakiekie). However, an alternative possibly meaning is 'one' meaning 'beach' or 'sand' and 'hunga' meaning 'people', the word being pronounced 'Onehoonga' with soft 'g'.[citation needed] Onehunga was close to one of the richest areas of the Auckland Isthmus, and saw many battles in pre-European times." (Wikipedia)

Auckland #1

I wasn't really keen about coming to live in Auckland. I was sure and excited for Carey, for InterMission, it was just the actual city that had a bit of reluctance in me. So I proposed I would blog one thing a day that I loved or liked about Auckland. I have had no internet for the last week. The People Auckland gets a lot of flak for its people. Common jibes are that Aucklanders "don't know life exists beyond the Bombay hills" and that they are always in a hurry. Auckland is the "rat race" and the more conservative, even racist types complain it is "full of Asians" etc. Apart from a few country hick jokes thrown my way, the people of Auckland have been truly amazing. Friendly, helpful, and of many cultures and ages. Sometimes when some tried to explain things to me, and the English barrier was a bit of a problem, we just smiled at each other and they patiently explained again. The culture thing was a bit of a shock. No, shock is the wrong word. Just different. Like at home, there are predominantly NZ European, Maori and Pacific Islanders and a few Brits as the main cultures. Here, it is so different! I was genuinely excited when I was at Carey on Sunday night for a dinnerchurch (Tableside, they're called) service and I walked down the hall to the bathrooms and there was a Tamil/Indian church service on in the chapel! Just a few rooms away. Someone told me yesterday there is two Indian language church services at Carey on Sundays, plus Chinese worship during the week, as Carey has a Chinese Language degree programme in Applied Theology. And in town, I heard very little English. It was amazing. Like these girls on the train in the most BEAUTIFUL saris. There is so much can be learned. And I was standing on the corner of Queen and Wellesley Streets waiting for Sue Mun, and just for interest sakes, I counted the cultures (well, what I could visibly see) and I really was a minority. But it was good! People complain too much. It was wondrous. Like I was part of a global world with so many beautiful, different people. There is no place for racism in Auckland. Once Wilbur and I hitch hiked in Hawke's Bay and this guy spewed forth hatred against all immigrants, and it was sickening, and sad. But Auckland seems to embrace it.

A quote from a cool friend of mine

"Some days you just need to remember that New Zealand is one big family, Especially when you're about to leave your entire life in one city and start fresh in another." - Naomi Smith, via her blog, Underdead.

Tears

StudyLink and parents not understanding what is required of them and I move in three days = SOME TEARS It frustrates me my mum is computer and practically communication illiterate and that my father can not write a letter. He wrote one to Studylink. It was a page long and all one sentence with random capitalisation and spelling errors and random grammar every few words. It wouldn't pass Year 9 formal writing. It makes me sad. It makes me sad because when I try HELP him by OFFERING to edit his letters for job applications and stuff he YELLS AT ME and tells me I am being CRITICAL. No Dad, but written English and communication skills are ESSENTIAL for work. I want to HELP YOU GET WORK. When I tell him ALL DOCUMENTS sent to the government have to be VERIFIED by WORK and INCOME he yells at me again, and says it is fine. No Dad it's not. I won't be eating in Auckland. I will get ANOTHER letter saying MORE documents are required. I will be in my room in Auckland with tears in my eyes wondering how to make rent for the following week and getting really angry. So here I am. Writing a riveting letter to the governmental agency of StudyLink on my fathers behalf, detailing my parents taxable income and explaining that my mothers tiny income isn't really income because it is a "reimbursement for wear and tear." Most kids don't even know what their parents earn. I know every freaking cent, and its not much. I once wrote a formal, angry, assertive email to the photographer for the school ball, explaining what he had given us was not adequate. I felt a bit mean, but was surprised at his response. He turned up to the school office, in front of the principal, THANKED ME for for my straight up formal assertiveness, and asked me (half jokingly) if I could write all his formal correspondence in future, because he doesn't have the guts to write like that when something is wrong. He also bought me chocolates for organising the collaboration between students and photographer. Some things make me sad. Man I am watching every cent. Speaking of which, I have work in an hour, packing fruit in boxes to ensure I NEVER end up living on a benefit or doing menial work for minimum wage for the rest of my life. Thank God for education. Literally. Seriously. I am so happy my brother got Level One Literacy. I took a few frustrating hours to teach him how to write an essay, and making him remember quotes. BUT HE PASSED 2/5 papers. Just. But he got literacy. 14 credits even. I was a bit tearful then too. Because it was a few days before my English exam and I was stressing about my own. But Michael passing his Level One Exam was more important than me getting Excellence on my Level Three Exam. I'm happy I figured that priority out. Communication is so important. Oral, written, whatever. I can't imagine much worse than being illiterate. Education and English have given me a way out. My tears have kind of gone. Dad is listening a bit more, he went to Work and Income. PLEASE JESUS. PLEASE. I can live for a maximum of three weeks on my savings, but I NEED THIS ALLOWANCE. Mum and Dad haven't paid for pretty much anything since I finished high school, and that's fine. They can't afford to. I don't expect it. Sometimes its hard. But that's okay. "I cast all of my cares upon You. I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet. And anytime I don't know what to do, I cast all of my cares upon You."

I am feeling strange this evening.

I am feeling strange. I did not go to the 19th birthday party of a friend I have known since I was six. We were best friends 'til high school. She is wonderful. But I was just feeling.. odd. Like I couldn't find clothes or something. Which is not me. I'm not that shallow, nor self conscious. I wear any clothes, normally. But it was like I couldn't find the energy. So weird. I don't like that. Tonight I made the most delicious vegetarian lasagne in the whole wide world.

A Koru Means New Life

Shani just came 'round to pick up her cardy and say goodbye. I've had some good times with old Shani over the last five years, and on Wednesday she drives her little car all the way down to Christchurch to set up camp for the next three ish years. She's not planning on tripping up for holidays, so it really was goodbye! And I'm not planning on tripping back to Hawke's Bay much either. But I'm sure on my hitching adventures I'll come to Christchurch, and will have crazy dancing times with Shani once again. The point is, that even though it was sad, and I had little tears glisten as she drove away, it was also GOOD. Hence the title: A Koru means new life. Like I know Shani will work hard, she will go far, and because her life has been marked with a bit of adversity, she will overcome whatever comes her way because thats how she does it. And I'm so proud of her! Moving to Auckland also brings the weirdest feelings. Like its awesome, and exciting, but at the same time its the slight fear of the unknown. Even though I'm generally known as social, confident etc bla bla, theres still a "What am I in for?" thread of thought sometimes. I know I'm doing the right thing. I have no idea what I'm doing 2011 though! But that's okay. Because I know God does. And he's pretty awesome at guiding me through life. And I know there will be adventures! And I'll make adventures happen. This is my goal, and what 2010 is going to be about: "Others." - William Booth. God, teach me how to be selfless. To live simple. To be who Sonya Jasmine was made to be.

It's time kids. Oh! The Places You'll Go! Dr Seuss.

Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. Oh! The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump. And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind. You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting. No! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy! Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV. Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t. I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you. All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot. And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way! I'm so excited.

Things

I hate how your imagination goes wild with morbid thoughts when your family is hours late home from something and they haven't texted. I'm not a worrier, but my parents are quite structured sort of people, especially Dad. When he wants to be home at a certain time, he normally will be. So when its hours later, you do wonder. Awful, really.

Writing

I wrote the second thing all summer I have written. Wilbur commented it was the most personal thing of mine he had ever read. I think its only now in leaving school and home and growing up that I feel free to share more personal stuff with the whole world. Because previously it was likely a school/principal audience would read it. I did a blog about this last year, on my old blog. I believe you have to have a certain distance from something personal before you can write about something, and treat it as a piece of writing and not as something like a diary entry. This is especially true when its likely going to be critiqued and ripped in to as a piece of writing. Or mixed up by other people who are putting it to music. I remember the time a (younger) girl in the writing group at school cried when either I or my teacher made a constructive comment about her poem. It wasn't that we were being harsh, it was that the subject matter was too close and personal to be used as writing fodder just yet. Interestingly, she often complained I never wrote in the first person, and only wrote the stories of people I saw or met. I think that's why I consider the poem/song I have just written to be one of the better love/relationship themed stuff I have done. Because I have a distance from the events and person concerned. So its not heartbreaking to write, it won't hurt if someone rips into a certain line or rhyme or whatever. Because I now view the whole thing as material for writing, not a hurt near and dear to my heart. :)

Lake Song/New Ceremonial Music for Moms - Akron/Family

You stand so far away lake's in the distance, top of bails of hay, breeze dream clouds thick and white, kite, wind against the bow, no matter how far we sail. Bees, leaves, hives go fly with flies, in and out, petals and stems, stitches and hems, uses and thems. Collected by friends, and spread amongst the then, while others seem to pretend that make believe is when image left with men is painted with a pen, and time's left to Big Ben. Hold back your thought, among silence rhythms are taught, the end of the line, a trout you have caught, flipping and sticking to bits of hay, slipping in skin, reflecting the day, it's only a picture, there's not much to say. I love Akron/Family.

Sonya Jasmine

is writing a letter to Ashley Rae. I have been packing for Auckland. I am hungry. My life is fairly epic.

My life is amazing

Went to Tolaga Bay for a week. AMAZING! Got home last night. Couple of hours ago, Wlbur rang. I am now going to the South Island tomorrow. YEAAH! 3am ferry on Tuesday party for a week! Come back Sunday work monday at new job My parents were like.. huh ? Bit rushed I was like.. i am young and free :)

Conversation

Wilbur arrives tonight! He trained then hitched from Wellington this afternoon. He'll get here around 10pm. So excited! Haven't seen him since January when he hitched around the North Island. YAY! In other news, greatly enjoyed having intellectual conversations with Tiho last night at Lauren's party! He's heading off to International Model UN in January! Exciting! Rang Rach Ross yesterday :) To ask her to buy my Carey textbooks then I'd compensate her. I'd met her at XRend, had a quick kinda 'hello, you're going to carey' conversation then. But we ended up talking awesome and deep and stuff yesterday for almost two hours! She made me excited about Auckland - because sometimes I am scared. She said there is this awesome little alternative club called Cassette where they pour drinks out of teapots :) I am excited. I am going to blog once a day next year with something knew I like about Auckland. I think this will be good. Last night I biked home from Laurens at 12.30 am. Took me half an hour 'cause I stopped to talk to some people I knew that I saw. People were like "ooh thats so dangerous" but not at all. It was beautiful and fresh and empty deserted streets and I wore my new retro sweatshirt from the opshop and it was awesome. Yay Wilburs coming! YAYYAYAYAYYAYAY!

I confess

I don't like Christmas. I must be a freak. It's just the gift giving pressure and the hype it's not like I need Christmas to think about Jesus. I think about him quite a lot. I don't own a bed! I have a very spacious room. I'm all fidgety. I need to travel.

On The Town

Well last night/12am until 3am this morning, I went to 'town' for the first time. Some think it is sad that I have been 18 since August and didn't go 'til last night, but I'm not bothered. Town, especially Havelock North town, is very overrated. There are three bars young people congregate in: Loading Ramp, which is more the 21upwards age bracket, Diva Bar and Bistro, which has a tiny dance floor and crap music: Ben said the 'cougars' congregate there (older(21upwards) women looking for younger men)We spotted a few. The whole bar seems to be taken up with the bar.. I think they're focussed on fancy drinks. Last is Turks, the bar full of 18-22ish aged people, some probably underage. That was a hot sweaty crammed bar and dance floor, with Finn DJing. I, nor any human being I know, cannot stand Finn. I had four years of classes with him and his sleazy arrogance, until he left school last year. RELIEF. Bouncers are very strict! There were also police swarming through Turks, six in a row, randomly checking IDs. Thomas was checked by two policemen within five minutes. A bouncer standing near the toilets asked for my ID as well. I honestly don't understand how people get in underage, they scrutinised my REAL ID enough, asking me if I had a bank card or something to back me up. I knew this would happen, because in my ID I am 15 years old, dark dark hair boy cut hair with a very sullen face! And now I am smiling, medium brown short/medium length feminine hair with fringe and a big "Sonya smile." And the old drivers license photos are tiny. But the bouncers were also really friendly. I enjoyed myself near the end, when Ben Christensen, Shani, Emma and I danced random in a relatively spacious part of Turks. It was cool having nice Ben there, when you're surrounded by drunk guys. But at the start I was just like BROOOO SLEAZY STRANGERS! And there was. Saskia was hammered and Ben and I were trying to hold her up as she almost fell(while she resisted) and this random guy started pointing at her/himself/outside. NO. It was like guys go to 'spot the drunk girl' and take advantage. And they do. I had one drink the whole night out: You have to be careful in such situations. :) The funniest/oddest part of the whole night was when I saw Abbie outside Turks(seriously, so many KHS Year 13s in town) and she hugged me and goes "WHERES MY ID??" She hugged me and it was in her hand and then it disappeared. And she's looking everywhere and accusing young-ish girls around her of picking it up. So the whole night she's worried. Her Full License disappeared. Then.. 3.30am.. i'm changing into my pyjamas and what falls out of my bra? She had hugged me and it had obviously fallen down the back of my dress and got lodged in my bra clip! LOL. It was actually hilarious at the time. I was really relieved that I had it and not some random on the dance floor or whatever. And relieved it didn't fall out! Ten-ish of us slept at Courtneys last night: woke up today and realised I had no way of getting home (everyone had pretty much left) so Ben came and picked me up and we randomly hung at SCHOOL (yeah, so I thought we'd finished :) in the music room and watched youtube videos for a couple of hours. Saw Taylor's film which was swweet, and 21 accents ( a funny awesome video, search it) and Boxing, which is a video Bjorn and other Year 13s made last year in Media Studies of him inside a big washing machine box at school and randomly jumping as students walked past and scaring them. GREAT. Other highlights: Gerard and I dressing as reindeer at 6pm last night then dancing crazy 'til 12 at Courtney's 18th birthday. Was so much fun, and there are some awesome photos! Our leavers jerseys say KNOWLEDGE IS STENGTH. Ironic. I had a really cool phone conversation with Wilbur this afternoon mainly about religion type stuff. He also went to town last night, in Wellington, and his seventeen-year-old self got into every bar (minus one, for his shoes) without an ID. He does it by putting on a German accent and pretty much trying to intice the bouncers to let him in, by inquiring what the bar is like until the bouncers push him in saying "check it out yourself mate!" He wants me to hitch to Wellington with him this weekend, and to busk POETRY in Cuba Street. Now I call that SCARY. But I think I should do it sometime. But I think he's gonna hitch up here instead. Tomorrow is the Youth Council break-up dinner at Lonestar in Napier. :) I didn't spend a cent last night.

Therefore do not worry about your life

says Jesus in Luke 12:22-34. It is my full time job to find a full time job. Today I am writing/fixing my CV and Covering Letter. Tomorrow I will go to the library, photocopy each about 40 times, along with my AWESOME RushMunro's job reference. Then I will go to Work and Income, register as "looking for work" and meet with a job broker. They have connections. Then I will walk around every single darn shop in town and give them my CV. I will be dressed smartly. I will then bus to Taradale and do the same thing. Tomorrow I will photocopy my 2010 college fees invoice, post it to ZONTA, along with a nice covering letter and hopefully they will pay 2000 dollars to Carey. Thank you ZONTA. I WILL GET A FULL-TIME JOB.

Things I don't like

Food intolerance.

Things that are sick

Nazi symbols and KKK tattoos. I cannot stand racism. Hatred makes me sick. Makes me sad. Seeing that profile picture made me sad sad sad for the sheer ignorance and intolerance. I love humans. But some of humanity is very very sad.

I'm smiling

Apart from an amazing prizegiving I also happened to come home at 1.10am to three awesome emails: a) Ashley Rae, awesome to read ;'cause its like interesting and getting to know someone and those emails are always fun. b) Finn saying he liked my country song and is putting it to music/we're working on a project. We've even got a name. c)Luke with FEEDBACK ON GUTTER VIEW! Yeah. and also d) a poem from Luke for feedback. I love his work. So, prizegiving. Everyone was like TOWN AFTER? but I have two dollars in my bank account and plus I'm kinda tiired and its 12km from my house plus I'm going to 'town' for the first time really next weekend. Best prizegiving yet. For me. The whole night was quite tense 'cause sometimes it was hard to hear so you're like crap did they say my name and then there was emotional minutes of silence for Mr. Dark and an impromptu haka and the awful moments when they say YEAR 13 and we are all going ohmygosh ohmygosh and then Gerard and I are like BET we'll get called up together we should fully skip down the aisle and link arms but of course we DIDN'T but we walked REALLY quickly and we were both STOKED. So, my prizes. For those who care 'cause some have asked to be told. Cultural awards section: KHS Cup for Best Senior Debater and Allen Cup for Senior Writing. Honours Medals Section (doing well in NZ): Silver Honours Medal for Debating and Silver Honours Medal for Writing 2007-2009 (Gold honours medals are for like going overseas and representing NZ, was SO PROUD OF ALEX FOR her gold medal for debating ) Random Prize: Books and Certificate for Deputy Head Girl (They put the sticker thing for it in 1984. I liked this. Outstanding Academic Section (Top six people in form): First and Distinction in English, Distinction in History (Gerard got first) Distinction in Media Studies (Ben got first) and Distinction in Geography (no one got first, three of us were tied: Abbie and me and Jesse) and then the U-Bix(?) Cup for First in Year 13 Humanities. (The one I wanted) So my best year ever :) Never got honours medals before. It was a real cool night but real weird 'cause so many people WEREN'T THERE. Two and a half rows of Year 13s. Maybe 25 of us in total, including sports prizes. It felt weirdly elitist. Not..right. Would have been nice if all of the Year 13s could have got their leavers scrolls at prizegiving, like old years. I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO MORE UNIFORM. THEN I GET TOLD I HAVE TO DO A SPEECH AT JUNIOR PRIZEGIVING. But what if i get a job and be working that day? Damn. I was so proud of so many people. I'm so HAPPY that the Dark and Rodler family were there to present the Memorial Cup and I'm so HAPPY that Thomas got Proxime and that Karla got that scholarship and I'm SO HAPPY that Shani got those two cups and her Speech diploma awarded in front of everyone and I'm so STOKED that Gerard got recognition for history. Of course there is stuff you go hmm about, like no other leaders getting recognition beyond the four head students? and other stuff. Did you know the prize for first in year 12 math is an ARTWORK PRINT? I'm glad they have introduced the Academic Excellence and General Excellence award for every year. Anyway. I got the three cups I wanted, but didn't necessarily think I'd get, so that was nice. Lots of teacher hugs. I really like seeing younger students get the cups I once got and I really like looking at the names on the cups you receive, thinking about legacy, and where they are now, and how they are successful and smart, and you think.. well, its encouraging. Like Shani getting the cup for Co-Curricular Drama and seeing a famous broadcaster person on it and knowing she is following in his footsteps next year as she heads off to broadcasting school. I have to go to school tomorrow. Sheesh, when does this end. I'm trying to find a JOB SCHOOL. You know, MONEY FOR MY FUTURE. Stop getting me to COME BACK. Yay cowboy song!

I like life

I wrote a COWBOY SONG because Finn Teppett asked me to. I enjoyed writing said cowboy song. I am going apple job hunting with Joel on Monday. I probably haven't seen him in over a year, which is awful. My only hope is we don't get caught by a cop 'cause that is a 400 dollar fine which is over a weeks worth of work. He is now officially sponsored by KINGPIN and of course Daylight Skateboards. Joel is amazing. We have had some good times skateboarding. Wellington College has a Tractor Club. I like. Prizegiving tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it. Whatever happens I come out with SIX BOOKS I really want to read. I think I am the only female getting an Outstanding Academic Award in Year 13. That's a first. I hate processed meat. Sausages. Bler. And the parents cook so much of it 'cause its good and cheap but its full of nitrites and is bad and sometimes gives me headaches. I am hungry. Ash turned up at ten tonight. In the pouring rain with his umbrella. I gave him milo and we talked about the 'I have to leave home' feeling.

A warm July day + Casabella Lane

Thoughts + The Tongariro Alpine Crossing

Someday I'm gonna do the whole Crossing. It's only a days tramp, but I'll probably stay in one of the huts, just for fun. I should plan for next summer. The quote is from Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. Photo courtesy of Mrs. Lambert, Geography teacher.

KHS Class of '09/Good times at KHS

Top to Bottom: Year 13 Cabaret, Shakespeare Group, Kapa Haka (Te Rau Karamu), Me, Cameron and Alex in the Russell McVeagh Hawke's Bay Tournament Debating Final, Year 13 Class of '09, and again :) If you click on the photos they come up really clear. Except for the top one.

YAY

Media Studies Level 3: 2pm - 5pm. AFTER THAT. No more school. Except for prizegiving.

Just Some Casual Internet Reading

Found this sweet blog post about how Twilight ticks all the boxes of the "Are you in an Abusive Relationship?" guidelines. I'd always thought it was awfully written, and kind of thought it was a bit disturbing how tweens wear tops saying "I wish my boyfriend was like Edward," but when you think about it, the problem with Twilight is the stupid expectations young girls are getting about relationships. Anyway. Read the blog post. Quite good.

I'm learning to use LINKS.

I am Sonya and I have almost finished my NCEA and Scholarship examinations. I have my Tudor-Stuart History exam at 2pm this afternoon which I am NOT Adequately prepared for. But its okay, because next year I am going to be doing Intermission at Carey Baptist College in Auckland. I hope to move to Mangere halfway through next year.

Book shopping!

Prizegiving always has its dramas. First there's the letters to the parents. "Your kid is getting a prize." This letter also specifies whether or not you are wearing the all-important BLAZER which means a lot. If you are, it means you're getting an "Outstanding" Academic prize or honours medal. (doing well nationally co-curricular) And normally in the same letter is the all-important BOOKVOUCHERLETTER which tells the bookstore to let you pick books and bill the school (This is for the 'outstanding' academic kids) Well yesterday had its dramas 'cause the academic kids got their letters and there was no BOOKVOUCHERLETTER. So of course we all freaked out about how crap we must have done.. but then I texted my buddy Alex in Year 11 and found out she didnt get a BVL. So of course we then realised if ALEX didn't get one.. there would be none, there would be a new system, or something. Like the school picked the books or something. Anyway all our stupid fretting ended today when letters addressed to US, not our parents, arrived with BVL's in them. But then I had another dilemma.Theygave me TWO BVLS!! and THREE little slips reminding me to pick an "appropriate" book. So I was like, is this a mistake? I haven't heard of anyone getting $100 of book vouchers at KHS before. I'm not getting a big prize. I'm excluded 'cause of my only doing four subjects. So I rang the ol' principals secretary who assured me that, yes, I had 100 to spend, and they were separate letters to remind me to buy two separate lots of books. And I was like oh. Then I clicked that its just for being a head student and stop wondering Sonya. Texting the head boy assured me of the same thing. ANYWAY. So ten minutes from being home from Media Schol and Gerard and I decided to go BOOK SHOPPING! Well we kinda had to 'cause I have three exams in the next four days and the only day I don't is Sunday, and the bookstores are closed. So we had a grand ol' arvo, perusing the limited bookstores, being indecisive, and eating Wendys sherbet icecream. My selections were Cannery Row and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (Cannery Row 'cause Ashley Rae recommended it to me) A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (I am DETERMINED to read this, and understand it) Catcher in the Rye by J.D.Salinger (another classic, need to read for my own sake) The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy (famous, plus Udayan wrote about it in his schol exam essays which I read: sounded good) and of course 1984 by George Orwell which I just had to own. I was disappointed the store didn't have Brave New World by Aldous Huxley 'cause that is also on my summer readinglist but I feel I did pretty well. Gerard got Superfreakonomics (I was tempted) and Jacquie Brown's guide to life as a sort of JOKE, but then once out of the store he realised there were cartoons of sexual stuff lol which the school probably might not approve of haha. We joked about getting those MASSIVE Books just for a laugh. A2 size, "Cats" and "Birds of the World" really heavy ones. It would be hilarious to see the principal strain to hold. We thought you could use it as a tray for your trophies (Not that we've ever got more than one trophy) Its really all quite silly, this fuss about prizegiving. But the reality is, a lot of people work really hard, and then when you don't get any recognition, it kinda sucks. I've been lucky to be alright, but I have some AMAZING friends, who get really good grades, but never seem to be recognised. And it frustrates me, for their sake. I'm excited about my books. Now media schol is over I feel like exams are. Which is silly. There is the small matter of history tomorrow, and the next day. But media level 3 will be easy-ish, so I'm not really thinking of it as an exam even.