IENFP

I'm figuring that I'm half Introverted/half extroverted. I like this.


This stuff is INTERESTING man. Like there's these forums: enfpforum.com haha and all these people discuss themselves and their relationships. Lol.


If I married an ENFP the children wouldn't get fed, apparently.


Edit: Just did another quiz. I am extroverted yes, but a bit more balanced with the introvert, and I'm feeling, yes, but a bit more balanced with the thinking stuff. But 100percent perceiving over judging. Interesting.


I FIND THIS WORLD SO INTERESTING! Aren't humans FASCINATING?

Essay.

This essay will discuss the connections between postmodern teacher Rob Bell’s lecture, “Everything is Spiritual (2007), and the teachings of Mick Duncan on foundation level Christian Worldview and Theism. As this year has unfolded, the biggest revelation, for me, has been the increasing nature of the grey areas of Christianity. While many Christians adamantly support Rob Bell’s teachings, many at Carey Baptist College included, a definite number also label him a false teacher, warning to ‘be careful’ while reading his books. Rob Bell himself invites us to question all teaching, including his own, to 'jump on the trampoline' and continue bouncing ideas around.  I personally have found this extremely confusing. I am starting to see all preaching as one of many interpretations and all teaching as just one of many, which all appear as valid as the others. Thus, this postmodern culture has led me to carefully consider: What are the core concepts my faith is based on, considering so much is uncertain? 

This is for my future reference, while I'm away without my laptop.

I've been researching myself: ENFP

I see the majority of this in myself, but some in lesser doses. I think it is important to remember that while these personality things are helpful, people are all different. Some of the negative characteristics in all personality types may only flourish in extreme circumstances. In a way I don't like looking through these things because they cause you to overponder about relationships around you.  There is a lot of disagreement and angry comments on some of these sites! While insightful, probably best not to take these things ultra seriously. I think I - understand myself well - so just ask me..  I pretty much do agree with all of this though. There isn't anything I strongly disagree with.


"ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people" ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped. Yup.

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  all ENFPs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:
  ·        They’re exceptionally perceptive about people and situations.  They’re often able to quickly and accurately assess where someone is coming from.
  ·       They accept and value people as individuals, and are strongly egalitarian.  They believe that individuals have the right to be themselves, and are very tolerant and accepting of most people.
  ·        They’re often deep and intelligent, and may be quite brilliant in their ability to tie things together.  They’re wired to look for connections in the external world, and so they may mentally put things together more easily than others.
  ·        Their interest in understanding the world usually makes them in tune with what’s socially acceptable and what isn’t.  This may help them to be popular and likeable.
  ·        They’re highly creative.  This ability may be used in an artistic way, or may be used to generate ideas and new ways of thinking.

• NFPs are passionate about their beliefs, whatever they may be.  They often stubbornly adhere to their value system regardless of threats to its validity.  They are more concerned with keeping true to what they believe than they are with expectations or demands from the social group that they function within. ENFPs dislike personal criticism, because it threatens their validity as an individual and the validity of their value system.  ENFPs may internalize anger rather than express it; their respect for other individuals makes it difficult for them to hurt others.  An ENFP’s feeling of success depends upon the availability of opportunities to grow their understanding of the world, upon feeling that they’re living true to their personal value system, and upon the condition of their closest relationships.
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• In national sample "Leisure Activities," overrepresented in "Writing," "Appreciating art," "Playing musical instrument," "Listening to music," "Reading"
• Underrepresented in "Watching TV for leisure" and "Watching TV 3 or more hours per day."
• Academic subjects preferred: art, English, music.
• In national sample, lowest of all types in liking work environments where "Everything is done by the book"
• 1 of 3 highest types in liking "Independence & achievement," "Teamwork," and "People from different backgrounds."
• Most important feature on an ideal job: creativity and originality.
• In national sample, dissatisfied with "Promotions" and "Salary"; satisfied with "People I work with" in their jobs.
• With ESTJs, had highest total coping resources of all the types.
• Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources.
• In national sample, ranked lowest in coping with stress by "Developing physical symptoms."

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. (Link goes to website where most of this is from) They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

Relationships: ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.


For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.


Parenting: ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.
The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.


ENFPs are basically happy people.


In work: ENFPs generally have the following traits:

• Project-oriented
• Bright and capable
• Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills
• Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people
• Able to relate to people on their own level
• Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own
• Future-oriented
• Dislike performing routine tasks
• Need approval and appreciation from others
• Cooperative and friendly
• Creative and energetic
• Well-developed verbal and written communication skills
• Natural leaders, but do not like to control people
• Resist being controlled by others
• Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it
• Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories

Possible Career Paths for the ENFP:

• Consultant
• Psychologist
• Entrepreneur
• Actor
• Teacher
• Counselor
• Politician / Diplomat
• Writer / Journalist
• Television Reporter
• Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist
• Scientist
• Engineer

Unlike the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.


Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.


People naturally confide in the Champion (ENFP). That's why they make such good mediators, counselors, teachers, consultants, and reporters. Any position that outreaches to others can fit the Champion. They can be columnists, journalists, publicists, copy writers, advertising account executives. In the arts they can be character actors, cartoonists, art educators. If they choose jobs such as restaurateur, be sure that their business sites will be unique and designed for a particular type of customer. Don't be surprised to see them as an inventor. This type of personality wants to experience the whole of life and may change careers more often than many other types. Says Charles, "I've had a number of jobs and when there is nothing left to create, I move to something new. I want my life to be spiced with newness, love, and joy."


Champions (ENFP) need a study environment that is stimulating. They have a very difficult time working alone and quietly. They work best when their ideas bounce off someone else. Paul studied and studied for his psychology mid-term. It didn't seem to help. Then he went to a study session. As he started talking and getting feedback, he was amazed at how much he actually knew. He aced the exam.


Idealist women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience. Men often appreciate their compassion and empathy along with their belief in others. When dating, they hope they'll get to know each other through deep conversation. 
Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs


The Champion is usually a bundle of energy, but they can become exhausted if they are overloaded with work. They also will experience stress if their values and principles are violated and they see others in the company being hurt by policies that kill the human spirit. Then they become hypersensitive to what is going on around them. Facts become exaggerated. They have feelings of paranoia and may withdraw. To regain their equilibrium, meditation will help. Kindness and support by others, but not patronization, will help them get back to normal. Says Gloria, "I'd given a number of years of support to one boss, then he started bad-mouthing me. It threw me into a turmoil. I became suspicious of him and everyone else. Then a friend said that the boss was blowing up at everyone, not just me, and encouraged me to look at a position in a new section. I meditated to become centered again, then applied for the job. I love my new job and now life is great again. My old boss retired; he was drinking too much."


ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.


ENFPs are well aware of their weaknesses, often being their own harshest critic; they may sarcastically put themselves down before others do, because secretly they may expect to be humiliated. Often the ENFP is reluctant to share intimate feelings unless in the company of deeply trusted relationships. Some ENFPs have difficulty being alone, especially on a regular basis.


Give ENFPs the freedom to be flexible. Realize that churning through possibilities inspires their minds and get their creative juices flowing. Don't bog the unsuspecting ENFP down with too many details, especially on any subject not known to be of deep interest to him or her. Involve the ENFP in the process and try to keep things fun. When communicating with ENFPs you will find that many like to talk. Do not hesitate to interrupt and state your opinion. ENFPs enjoy speculating about ideas, and will do so for hours on end. They enjoy others who engage them in conversation, contribute their ideas and keep it moving in a positive direction. Overall ENFPs appreciate overt honesty in others, they want to know the truth, even if it is not nice or pleasant, they want to know how people "really" feel. ENFPs are easily influenced by what other people say. It may not appear that they are listening when they are talking to you, but soon after the conversation ends they often ponder what the other person has said and incorporate those ideas into their own thinking to use the knowledge for the future.


10) Remember, ENFPs are hard to figure out. Most of what we feel cannot be put into words or understood.

updates, downdays

Feeling ill, phone calls from certain people stress me out

In pain: not allowed sugar, bread, fruit

Plough through pages, words, beans, lentils.

Counting down the days, the word counts

Dancing around the house in flesh-coloured tights gets funny looks when people come home

and when I run outside to get the mail, I wonder what it looks like to the neighbours

Scarves, heart-printed t-shirts, cardigans found in tents

Pages that analyse the eighteen year old brain, the need for mentors, loved ones, dreams

Yes.

Some days you have a head full of clouds
and then you come home and read about 60's artists with 
raspy voices, deep voices,
lost
voices
and then your head becomes clear
in a not-clear way
but a clear way
a happy way


and you lie on the floor of someone else's house
and listen to late night music videos
and read current affairs stuff all about big ideas like money and Remuera millionaries and egalitarianism and living to 100 and healthcare and all Auckland cares about is money according to the magazines


and then you think on the song letter and know
that it is good 
and friendship is good
and hot water bottles
and warm houses
and wool coats are good, also


and Joni Mitchell and I would be good friends, I think,
if only we met, but that is the point
that we would never meet, we would just roam

Nothing.

I have nothing to say, and everything to say. I know nothing yet I know.. some things. I am happy yet sometimes I am sad.  I know what I want to do in life, yet I have no idea what that will look like, if I actually want those things, or if everything will change. Tomorrow. Tonight. Suddenly. I know about love, do I? But I know nothing about love. But I know a lot. But still nothing. Nothing. Everything. 

Lead me to the cross (Brooke Fraser)

This song has one of the biggest impacts any song has had on me. It is so self-less, about giving up all of me and giving it to Jesus. All of me. That is not easy. I am brought back to the focus of my faith when I sing this - it is about Christ, and his will, not mine. It is not about me. That is hard, right, in this crazy world.


Saviour I come, quiet my soul. Remember: redemption's hill, where your blood was spilled, for my ransom. Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost - Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees; Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lead me, lead me to the cross. You were as I, tempted and trialled, human. The word became flesh, bore my sin in death. Now you're risen! Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees; Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lead me, lead me to the cross.. to your heart, to your heart. Lead me to your heart. Lead me to your heart.


Here is the song: Lead Me To The Cross - Brooke Fraser

Babies

This week I know of three people my age who have just had babies. Girls I went to school with. And.. it feels odd.. like I feel younger than them! Motherhood is an adult thing.. am I an adult? I feel like an adult.. but parenting is a whole different level of adult.. But no way am I keen for that at eighteen! I don't know what I am trying to say. I am not trying to say anything. I am just firing thoughts around my head - I feel like children are a late20s thing. Oh that is such a cultural influence thing - 'educated' career women say stuff like that - but its true.. I have to do other things before I even ponder children. I do like children. But not like OHMYGOSH I have to have kids! *enter clucky female noises* It's not like that. More, like, yeah, I like children. They could be part of my life. I'd just have a few children, not a lot of children. But I'm eighteen! I am still young. I do feel awkward when I see a girl I went to school with in the street - she has a three year old daughter, and I remember when we were fourteen, in Food Tech class - she being upset 'cause she thought she was pregnant, and telling me. We chat, but its such different worlds! And I am proud of her and tell her so when she tells me that she has gone back to school at a Teen Parent Unit and she is working hard to get Level 1 (!) and maybe 2 so she can have a future. That is cool. But I find it so hard to understand. And and and yeah I'm ending this post here. Good on the girls who had babies. Love them. Raise them well. I still feel.. strange. Their kids will be like ten when I might possibly be starting to think of having babies. What are all your thoughts on all of this?

The Current State Of My Brain

It’s weird to think that I don’t have a bedroom any more, at my parents house. Because my brother has violated his bed time (I never had these rules..) multiple times, caught playing online games at 3am and then having school reports detailing his tiredness, he has made my room his own. The parental have made him sleep inside, not in his old room, which is now a children’s room, but my room. Michael now has two bedrooms.

Think about having two bedrooms! His stuff strewn between the two, his heart in one room and his sleeping head in another; his school uniform in my room and his other life in the massive sleepout full of old couches and computer parts and a table or two and a pervasive sense of.. SMELL. When that room was full of unwashed males in their late teens, it was pretty unbearable. And then they would all come in my room. I remember the day I showed ‘Anthropology of Youtube’ to Michael’s friends, in my room. I loved that they loved it, ‘cause they spent their days wandering the streets, jobless, sometimes homeless, definitely void of learning. But my room smelt reeeal bad after, Mrs. Potts looking overhead. I remember once I told one of them to have a shower. He didn’t like that very much. But when you’re twenty years old and haven’t showered in days, you should expect a vocal seventeen year old girl to tell you to shower when you sit on her bed for an hour and watch Youtube. You know.

When I was fourteen I had a party in that sleepout and a girl pushed a boy and he fell through the window. It wasn’t the girls fault, the windows are ancient and brittle and who has windows facing into a carport anyway?

Anyway. The thought was that when I go home I will actually be living out of a backpack. Actually in a room not my own. A room with a pushchair and a highchair and children’s toys. Actually in a bed that cost thirty dollars from an opshop that is a lot smaller than a single bed, that I slept in for all of my last year of school. I was stoked when I found that bed. Isn’t it odd, when home changes? Isn’t it? Isn’t it? It’s okay though. I don’t know. I like how Elysia calls me Sonyabird. It fits. It fits.

I don’t need to tell you all how hard I’m finding to do my assignment. It assures me that history is not my true calling. Every time I start writing appropriate words on a page ‘Colossians aims to correct’ were my first four words, it ends in a poem, or going back on to gmail to reflect on the poem Taylor sent me or I sent Taylor, or looking at poems I have written, or others wrote, or wondering about Australia and Anna and Wellington and living in Wellington or living on a roof  and cold sleeping bags and how every year at Guy Fawkes we climb on the roof, or that week I was home alone and I was convinced someone was on the roof or or or how I am hungry and how hummus is vegan and how I wonder how I will get through a degree with my brain the way it is and what I will do after. I thought maybe working in a tea shop/house in Europe somewhere and writing poetry could be the way to go. We shall see. I just want to fly away.

I have tears!

I am a human!

Tonight all I can do is write and write and write.

And, the beauty of writing is knowing I have poems from five, four, three, two years ago all stored on my laptop, and when I go back to them I can take phrases and create something new!

And I do! And also being happy that I am now starting to 'get' Intermission! Like I am finally grappling! And that makes assignments fade into nothing because I know they are not the important part! I will just get through them because that is what I need to do, and I know that is required of me, but it is not a problem.. they are doable.

Tonight I read a poem I wrote when I was 15, for my brother, and I had tears~ and I received an email from my cousin - and I had tears. Both happy tears, tears of coming far and coming through. And.. I haven't cried in maybe six months, and I.. I feel human again. And feeling human puts everything else in fresh perspective. And I am starting to realise... who God made me to be.

A thought. (Not a poem, I repeat. Not a poem)

Here we are.

Splaying our faces on the internet

for every stranger to see, they could

hold a mesh screen to their

faces to pinpoint all the people

and in it they see me and they see you

pouring our lives through fingers

on the internet. Throw darts at our faces, and

our hearts, our mouths and our tired eyes

and our slumped heads on keyboards

and through webcams

And, our children, when they see this

this giant history book, this greying ghost town

will they laugh at our stupidity?

Will they be smarter than us? Go, oh mama

why did you pour your heart out on the internet?

why did you put your face up there

every day? Mama, didn’t you think

about someday when you were gonna run the country?

Baby, I was never gonna run the country.

But someone else will

and right now they’re leaving their fingers all over the internet.

Sonya Brickell Clark

Bucket List # 1

To dance with an Irish man in an Irish pub to this song:

Well, I took a stroll on the old long walk 
Of a day -I-ay-I-ay 
I met a little girl and we stopped to talk 
Of a fine soft day -I-ay-I-ay 
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do 
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue 
And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl 
'Round the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl 

We were halfway there when the rain came down 
Of a day -I-ay-I-ay 
And she asked me up to her flat downtown 
Of a fine soft day -I-ay-I-ay 
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do 
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue 
So I took her hand and I gave her a twirl 
And I lost my heart to a Galway girl 

When I woke up I was all alone 
With a broken heart and a ticket home 
And I ask you now, tell me what would you do 
If her hair was black and her eyes were blue 
I've traveled around I've been all over this world 
Boys I ain't never seen nothin' like a Galway girl